debmcgarry
Menopause Sucks! A common response from a woman’s sudden and perplexing shift into the second part of life. While women experience all stages of menopause differently, it’s an inevitable part of life in your 30s all the way into your 60s (for some).
To me, menopause is a transformation of body and mind that emerges without our consent. There is no stopping it – it’s part of life. No one asks if you’re ready… and there is no roadmap.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy to have reached the age of 53; a few of my friends did not. But I wasn’t adequately prepared for the body aches, sweating, fatigue, low libido, and chills (to name just a few symptoms).
Remember, no two women will have the exact same experience with menopause. You could have agonizing anxiety and sweat your bed sheets nightly, or you could have ZERO symptoms. I hope you’re in the latter category.
But wait – this is NOT a post about the misery of hitting the half-century mark. I’m happy to say I see a light through the hormonal tunnel, lovely women.
I’ve discovered that my mind, not just my body, is being impacted by the menopause transformation.
The Great Reveal: Why Menopause Has Been Hidden for Far Too Long
One of the main problems I see is that not many women are talking about menopause; even less women are talking about menopause in a positive light. I don’t blame you, it can feel like the life is getting sucked out of you.
Menopause is a topic that rarely gets a lot of press. Until recently I had to look long and hard for books, and other resources, on menopause. While menopause seems to be getting some traction (finally), there is still not a lot of strength, empowerment or loving towards the second part of a women’s life. There is a lot of talk of misery and despair when it comes to symptoms and general feelings about menopause.
So, why is the subject of menopause still seem so taboo? One word: Society. Growing old is viewed in many cultures as the part of life where women are dowdy, miserable, lonely, ugly, and ready for retirement.
The good news is, there are many ways to keep your mind sane and your body intact.
For a free consult, here is my booking link.
Let’s Market Menopause Another Way
Can you imagine the headlines in a world where menopause is exciting, fun, and something to look forward to? (I hear you all laughing at that statement).
– Old and grey, sagging tits? We have THE perfect lacy number for you!
– Top 10 Sex Positions for the achy and tired body you will love.
– How to have an orgasm in 90 minutes – it’s worth the wait.
Adding another heavy layer to the menopausal transition is that we all know women can be passed over for work roles or promotions as their grey hair pokes through and wrinkles deepen. Hollywood is the most obvious example but ageism can happen in any industry.
The Brain on Menopause
Managing my mind has taken centre stage in my path through menopause. The brain, one of the most interesting organs in the body, was destined to become the leader in my ascent to the menopausal peak.
How did I get there? I didn’t just think positive thoughts until I had nothing left. And, I certainly didn’t manifest a hot-flash-free, calm body. All the power to you if you do this and it works.
Instead, I started to work through my thoughts: the good, the bad, and the darn-right nasty ones. At first it was challenging but when I started to see positive results in my life, I was hooked.
Looking at my thoughts (the ones that have likely drifted in and out of my mind for decades) and getting coached has kept me sane, amidst my imminent romp to becoming an elder women.
With the obvious struggles of being a human, my mind was the last place I thought I needed help with as I approached 50 years old. I thought I had my life finally figure out. HA HA – I was dead wrong!
Shortly before persistent sweats, chills, and a dry vagina took hold on my bod, I lost my parents. This devastating time set in motion a stern reminder that I was no longer a spring chicken. The thought of my own demise followed swiftly.
What To Do About Your Menacing Thoughts
How were so many dreary thoughts suddenly creeping into my psyche? Simple. As a child, I was taught that being old meant being a nuisance, being invisible, looking wrinkly and essentially having fewer life opportunities. It sounds depressing, because underneath those thoughts I was wrought with despair, sadness, and fear. True fear of losing a life, losing everything I had built up.
My mom had gone down a sketchy road during menopause. She was depressed, complained of back pain and eventually became addicted to prescription drugs. I didn’t want to follow in her footsteps.
Then, at 51 (shortly after my mom died), I found life coaching.
After learning the concepts of thought work, I became a certified life coach and studied how to help people manage their minds.
The Journey Started with Myself
Thought work and getting coached became a regular occurrence and the results were mind blowing. I found out the thoughts I had about menopause were not facts at all, but stories I had created in my mind; subliminal and overt messages from society I had collected along my lifeline.
I’m NOT by any means saying your hot flashes and easily-triggered anger is made up or all in your head. Hell No, No, No. But the idea that menopause evidently turns your life into a mess of despair and sexless love piled with a constant dose of isolation and loneliness, is total and utter bullshit. I was pulled to find another way to live the next 50 years of my life with grace, empowerment, integrity, and huge love for myself.
One day, I realized I could use coaching to actually enjoy the experience of menopause and getting older. And I could teach other women to see the second half of their lives as a blessing, a new beginning, an amazing experience – instead of a hot, sweaty, sexless curse.
Figure Out How To Be Gutsy
Since that day, I have learnt that going through my menopausal transformation is not a death sentence, or the beginning of daily rage. It’s also not the time to hole-up solo in a cottage for 4 years, or throw your dreams away. On the contrary. For me, it was finally a time to become the person I wish I had the guts to be in my 30s and 40s. It was MY time to learn what I was capable of being without the pressures of being a baby-making, attention getting women, who once secretly enjoyed cat calls and sexy glances from strangers (don’t judge, haha). But now my existence wasn’t based on my appearance at all – but driven by my passions, my wisdom, my internal strength.
I started to enjoy a peaceful mind. Maybe it was the introvert in me; maybe it was that I didn’t have to try so damn hard anymore – to be everything to everyone. I could just be ME and finally give my mind and body the compassion and love it deserved.
Interested In Menopause Tips & Stories?
I’m on a quest to help as many women as possible who are going through menopause. To follow me for more blog posts and menopause and post-menopause resources, you can find me here, and on Instagram at @debcmcgarry. For a free consult on what you want to create in your life now, find my booking link here.
I hope you enjoy your menopausal journey and start the best part of your life unfettered, willing, headstrong, empowered, and magnificent. You deserve it, woman!